So, you have a website and that provides you certain freedoms. For example, you have the freedom to toss your domain name all over your car and hope that at least one of the many cars that pass you on the roads will jump at the chance to visit your website and give you their money. Since the website is yours, you can advertise it any way you want and build it any way you desire. You also have the freedom to toss up pictures of pets, family, or completely uninteresting images all over your website, go for it since it is yours. The best freedom with owning your website is you can either make it a successful and profitable business tool or you can let it crash and burn, like many high school kids dating lives. For those people who are bound and determined to tank your business online, I am providing a list of 5 ways you can ruin your website.
1. I’ll See Your Mess and Up You Some Clutter
Nothing will make a visitor do a 180 off your website faster than it being a cluttered mess that is hard to navigate. So, if your goal is to have visitors fleeing your website faster than an Olympic runner, then be sure to put as much junk and images as possible on the home page. Then you need to make sure that your navigation links are harder to find than Waldo. Don’t forget to add tons of pictures, forms, and pop-up banners. Be sure that any relevant information or message you have is well hidden and the focus for the site is to have your visitors sign up for something. Do this and those pesky visitors will never come back.
2. Under No Circumstances Update Your Website
There is really no point in updating your website. If someone visits you today and then comes back a year from now, they need to see the same exact information. This will give them a clear and consistent message that you don’t care about your website and you have nothing more to offer them. So, the next time they see a listing for your website, they won’t even bother visiting. Isn’t that great?
3. Advertising is for Suckers
Never consider advertising your business because that costs money and could bring good traffic to your website. This is a big no-no and you should never advertise. Instead, focus all your efforts on promoting your website on free sites that have been used for years. This will ensure your traffic remains the same as it has been for years and those who do visit are not your target audience and will most certainly leave without spending any of their hard-earned money. Congratulations!
4. If you Sell, Make it Crappy
Selling good products online is so overrated these days and for what? You make money and gain a great reputation which can get you repeat sales and even new customers. Why deal with all that hassle when you can just find the absolute worst products and sell them exclusively. This will ensure you damage your reputation to the point where they won’t bother buying from your website ever again. Also make sure that you lie about your products too so that any credibility you may have had with that customer is now gone. Good riddance!
5. Never Respond to Questions
If you still happen to get a pesky email asking you about your website or products on your website, never reply. Replying could be mistaken for being businesslike and courteous and you don’t want to come off that way. It is better for everyone involved to just delete any emails from people that showed enough interest in your website to email you. Do this and with fingers crossed, you will drive them to one of your competitor’s websites and out of your hair.
There you go ladies and gentlemen. The five great ways to ruin any website. Now don’t come back here and blame me if you choose to not follow these steps and actually become an online success story. I have provided you all the help I can give. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to write down the URL that’s spray painted on the side of this elementary school…